Words that Heal

During my devotional study in Proverbs last year, my readings often focused on the power of words. Tim Keller's devotional book on the Proverbs has been my guidebook through the wisdom we find, and for a successive number of days, the various proverbs relating to speech were in view.

I've considered the nature of words from the many types of speech discussed there. Solomon speaks of words that are true, and not just factually true, but honest--without any attempt to mislead. Words should be faithful in their intent, reflect integrity in the speaker, and bring grace to the recipient (I was going to put all the references in here, but all you would see would be parentheses and numbers!).

Words can be kind or cruel; they can have power to hurt or even kill. They can encourage and build up, or they can wound and tear down. They can refresh or cause anxiety. Sometimes they can be both needed and hard to hear when they contain the faithful rebuke of a friend. Even as I say these things, some of you are remembering various verses from the book that say these things.

Recently, I have been impressed by the discussion of words that heal. In 16:24 we read, "Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." That's an image that requires some experience. Mine comes regularly in Israel.

On our Israel tours, the hotels we use provide very large breakfast buffets. One of my favorites features a large section of fresh honeycomb, dripping with honey. It is a treat to enjoy and I do almost every morning we are there. Spreading it on some of the wonderful breads available makes the morning meal a "sweet deal."

In a culture that didn't have the abundance of sugar in everything that we have, honey and the honeycomb were a treat, and came to symbolize a special refreshment. We are told that both Samson and Jonathan found themselves refreshed and sustained in eating from it.

Similarly Solomon says words that are empowered by grace ("gracious words" are not just "nice," they are reflective of grace to others) have a similar effect. They can bring a lightness to the soul that may be weighed down. More than that, they can bring healing--a restorative power--to the person who may be suffering.

I think most of us would want our words to be able to have this kind of impact on others when they are hurting, and perhaps even when they just need to be encouraged. So, how might we make sure our words are restorative and healing when that is needed?

I started working on a list of the other characteristics I find in Proverbs that give healing power to words. Here it is--you can probably add more.

1. They should be true. You don't help anyone or show grace in any real sense by not being honest.
2. They should be "hear" able. What I mean by that is that what I say needs to be both understandable and receivable by the hearer. Sometimes I may have a gracious message, but the person I address is not in a state of mind to hear it. I should gauge the moment to see if I can speak in a way that will be heard in the right way.
3. They should have credibility. That means that the person has reason to believe that I am a credible witness and a trusted voice. This is especially true if the healing needed involves any measure of correction.
4. They should have the effect of "blessing." The way they are spoken and the aim in the speaking should be seen as seeking the good of the hearer. When we say something "for their own good," that is what we mean, but sometimes the way such messages come across is less healing than harsh.
5. They should reflect and line up with wisdom. Many of the proverbs extol wisdom, and healing words will bear the evidence of flowing from wisdom we have gained through our experience of God's truth and his work in us.
6. They should be regular. Just as we may need multiple doses of a medicine, healing words sometimes need repeating and regularity to have their desired effect. 

That's my initial list. As I said, you might add to it out of your experience. But this has become my personal challenge--to find ways to make my words and conversation a greater source of healing to those around me.